I am drowning

there is no sight of land.
you are coming down with me.
hand in unlovable hand.
i hope you die.
i hope we both die.

I am so scared that Jacob will want to sing that Mountain Goats song to me one day.

so, blogger, I've forgotten about you.
I dunno if it's the damn weather or something, but I've been so emotional. It's most likely my period, but I couldn't help it anyway. I made what I thought was the greatest CD ever the other day. It turned out to be a very sad CD. Sad songs. Sad songs that I listen to on the drive home from work & almost cry.
I think I need to make a new CD.

I hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us.
I hope we come out with a fail-safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us.
I hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight
& I hope we hang on past the last exit, I hope it's already too late
& I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here, someday burns down
& I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away, & I never come back to this town again in my life
I hope I lie, & tell everyone you were a good wife

& I hope you die, I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises, we're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
& I hope you blink before I do
& I hope I never get sober
& I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say
&I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out , you'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning, there is no sign of land,
you are coming down with me,
hand in unlovable hand

& I hope you die, I hope we both die