I'm fine.

"I'm trying to create something that's not there. A spark I saw. A bomb is really just a means to an end. I was just so happy to be out of my shell again, don't think that I really cared for who or what. So for now I'll just have to keep it shut."

I feel fine, lately. I don't know why, because nothing has changed, or anything. I listen to Bayside a lot more than I should, hahah. I'm very tired, as usual. I still really do miss everyone I used to talk to. I talked to so many people, I can't even remember half of them, haaaa. End of the year is coming soon. I'm ready for a new year. I'm ready for a fresh start. Hey! I can write a song :P
I did write a song, though. For Lauren (: I don't know when I'll write the music for it, since I suck & haven't played my guitar in forever.
I'm really excited to go to Peru in December/January. I haven't seen that side of the family in a while. I miss them. I can't wait to tell my cousins stories about my life & how I've learned from my mistakes & how I'm getting better & changing for myself. This is good. I love shit like this. I'm really, really, really hungry. & I should be working on this assignment in class. But I just felt like I had to take a good 20 minutes or so to write this blog. For if not now, I'd never write this, & get these thoughts from my head onto the screen. I like this much better than having a journal or whatever. Journals are so annoying. I remember having a couple in like, middle school or so. I'd write about stupid things, like boys. All the time. & drama. Haaaahaha, those were the daaaaays :P
Anyway. I hope to meet a boy soon. Just for me. But you all already knew that. Kill meeee, I'm so shreepy. Oh, yeah. That's all that ever seems to come out of my mouth anymore. That, & "I hate my life". I say it jokingly. But I think I mean it sometimes. But I don't think so. I don't know. I have the biggest bags under my eyes. & this green scarf wrapped around my neck is actually keeping me quite warm while I'm listening to Emmure. Bahaha, you thought I was gonna say something sweet to go along with the image I just left you with, right? Something like Christofer Drew or Chase Coy. Haha. I've read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower way too many times. I'm currently reading it again for about the 10th time or so. I read it every once in a while to make me think about life & certain things a little bit more clearly, or something along those lines. I love you. Whoever you are, reading this. Just know that. God, I'm creepy.

"The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most. So I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds & I doubt you'll even know the easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else. & I've been tricked for so long by you that I spent these last few months in my own hell. A failed apology; a day too late. But now I see, that all you really want's to see me dangle neck first from a tree. But what would you need me for? You've got friends galore. & all you've ever be to me is a stupid, lying excuse for a person."