Just a load of thoughts.

I'm an idiot. I really am. I'm really moody all the time. It's stupid. I think too much for my own good. I think about life a lot. I think about boys a lot. I think about how much I miss my best friend. I think about how much I miss how things used to be. I know I repeat myself. But all of this is just constantly on my mind. I think about how lame I am. In almost every way, haha. I hate thinking/feeling like I'm not good enough. All the time. I'm so insecure. I hardly ever show it though. Unless it's in a group of pretty tight friends. Or I'm letting you know on here, of course. I'm a dumb ass. I wish I had the National Geographic Channel. I wish I read more. I hardly read at all anymore. I wish I had a boyfriend. I wish he would talk about me with his friends in the most positive, cutest way. I wish I were constantly on his mind. & vice versa. I talk to myself a lot. Not in a creepy way, but, more of inside my head. I wish I could bring myself to floss. My back molar is really annoying. Stupid dentists never put a crown on that root canal, & it's like, cutting into my tongue. I wish I had better hair. Andrea's going to hit me, if she reads that, hahaha. I wish I was just a little thinner. I wish I wasn't so paranoid about feet. I HATE THE SMELL OF JERKY. Just, everything about it, makes me gag. I make anyone who eats it stand 10 feet from me :D. I don't know why I'm just writing all of these pointless things in my mind all together. None of it goes together or makes any sense. I wish I cared more. Actually, I really do care a lot. About everything. Well, kind of. Like, I say I don't, & at the time, I really just, don't. But then I think back or whatever, & I really do care. I'm good at hiding it though. I like it that way, sometimes. I wish I had a cute hammock in my back yard to relax & read a good book. I would love that. I wish I were photogenic. I wish I could talk to a good, cute boy who didn't lead me on forever. I wish I didn't feel like shit almost all of the time. I can't stand bottling up all my emotions until I explode. Therefore, you read a lot of them on here. I'm very shy when it comes to shit like this, believe it or not. I HAAAATE repeating myself D: I don't care. It's whatever. It's MY blog! Haha. Aaaah. I wish I had better posture. I wish I weren't so lazy. I wish I didn't sleep all of the time. I wish I were older. I wish I didn't have a giant list of things I wish I did or had or just a bunch of shit like what I'm writing about. I wish I could truly be happy for once. I wish everything would go the way I wanted it for once. I wish I had my phone back. I wish I had my life back. With shows & everyone I hate in Hickory & eeeeverything. But all I really want is a cute boy to make me happy. I kinda started talking to this one boy not too long ago. I hope he can handle me ;P I hope I'm good enough. Or that I'm not even close to good enough & vice versa, but we still give it a shot & be cute. I just want to cuddle. I want him to sing me pretty songs & help me make brownies. I just want endless hours of starring into each other's eyes & giggling at nothing. I hope that's not too much to ask. Or if that sounds creepy or too sudden. Haaaha.

I wonder if people actually read my blogs instead of just Andrea or maybe Lauren. Haaaaahaaha. Suck my dick.

I'll post another one later or something. I'm pretty sleepy.
<3