Basically, I'm the ugly mermaid, & everyone is Flapjack. I haven't blogged in a whole week. I have so much to say, but I can't find a way to say it. I wish I could rip my feelings out & throw them off a cliff. First things first, I have lost 8 pounds! I've been on the special K diet since the beginning of January, & I weighed myself February 4th, & that's when I saw it, 8 pounds less. Can I get a hell yeah? I was supposed to weigh myself again today, but I had too much to study & do extra credit, so I just couldn't. My plan today was going to go dress shopping in Hickory with Andrea. I haven't hung out with my friends in like 2 weeks, & it depresses me. ok well not like CLINICAL DEPRESSION, it makes me sad. it makes me feel left out & not cared for. But snow ruined everything in the end. I want a big poofy dress! I'm so stressed. Everything keeps piling up on me & I can barely keep up with anything anymore. All I want to say is that I'm the most jealous, hateful person there ever was. I love life, I just wish I had more friends & to have new experiences. Not like the friends I have now are whatever, I have no idea what I'm saying. I can't wait to graduate & get away from everyone for a while. I can't do anything. I can't keep up with all of my school work, because I have to study so much to make a mediocre grade. I never see my family anymore. I'm trying to go to the gym at least 3 times during the week, but my muscles need a day to recover, so I can't go on the weekends. My schedule is just ridiculous. I'm seeing Jacob once a week, sometimes the whole weekend. I haven't seen my friends in like 2 weeks. & I don't want to be over dramatic & a baby about everything. I'm just a really sensitive person. I hate it so much. I want to let go of everything, but I want to hold on to it at the same time. Oh, what's that? I have to end the blog here, because I've embarressed myself enough with my stupid feelings, & I have to study & do work all night. Fuck everyone.
The only good thing that's happened so far, is Deana calling me today & telling me the Once Upon A Child shirts arrived, & she wanted to make sure I got a shirt before anyone:)
Now that I think about it, I really just need to stay focused on my school work, & Jacob, & my job, & me losing weight for me, & my family, & my 3 girl friends that I have anymore.
To friends: I'd like a little more effort, because I'm going through a tough time, & none of you know that, because I don't see you everyday, & we work & we're stressed & I just want to see you guys a little more often. & don't use distance as an excuse, because that's lame, we're like 10 minutes away. I need cuddle buddies, & girl time real bad.
thanks.
alright, well bye. until the next depressing or extremely happy blog.
prom dress shopping tomorrow hopefully, if the roads aren't too bad.
fuck snow.
The only good thing that's happened so far, is Deana calling me today & telling me the Once Upon A Child shirts arrived, & she wanted to make sure I got a shirt before anyone:)
Now that I think about it, I really just need to stay focused on my school work, & Jacob, & my job, & me losing weight for me, & my family, & my 3 girl friends that I have anymore.
To friends: I'd like a little more effort, because I'm going through a tough time, & none of you know that, because I don't see you everyday, & we work & we're stressed & I just want to see you guys a little more often. & don't use distance as an excuse, because that's lame, we're like 10 minutes away. I need cuddle buddies, & girl time real bad.
thanks.
alright, well bye. until the next depressing or extremely happy blog.
prom dress shopping tomorrow hopefully, if the roads aren't too bad.
fuck snow.
No comments:
Post a Comment